Alone?

I was driving down 3rd St. this morning at 6am searching for coffee. It turns out no one else wants coffee at 6am so I had to wait an hour...I guess I'll live. The winds had moved in from the ocean, sweeping over the coastal hills and making McMinnville a rather blustery place. A few weak trees were knocked down over night, and leaves were spiraling around making the wind seem slightly visible. It was dark of course, and no one was around downtown. All the businesses were closed, there was no traffic to speak of, and frankly I felt alone.

Being alone is an interesting thing. Sometimes we say "you need to get alone with God", but others times we say "no one should be alone". Sometimes we shout "leave me alone!" and other times we say "I feel alone." As men, loneliness affords us peace and quiet which is something we seem to value. It offers us solitary freedom and we can do whatever we want to do. Being alone is something that we need from time to time and there is certainly nothing wrong that. But what about being alone in your walk with Christ?

It has occurred to me that many Christians go through life alone. I know, you're thinking single people, or people not in life2life groups. But those aren't the people I have in mind. I'm thinking of people that immerse themselves in the life of the church, that may even be surrounded by a family, or a great group of friends, but they're alone...spiritually.

What are the symptoms of this dangerous ailment? Let me ask a few questions to paint the scene. Is there anyone in your life whose opinion you respect more than your own? Is there anyone that you would listen to if they confronted you? If someone saw a deficit in your walk with God would you let them show it to you? If someone saw that an area of your life was out of whack would hear them out? Is what you want to do and what you care about the only thing that matters? Do you ever give up your wants/resources/time when it inconveniences you? Do you live life on your terms, free as a bird, or are their people with whom you share it?

You see, we men like our freedom. We like calling the shots, making our way, being our own man. And to be really honest it's fun that way...at least for a while.

Once or twice a year my wife and kids leave for a weekend to go and visit my inlaws. I rent movies, eat meat and ice cream every night, stay up too late, get up too early, work too many hours, and dress like a slob. It's truly a glorious thing! But after about 3 days of that I realize that I'm slowly fading into oblivion (or cardiac arrest) and I quit it. The truth is I know my wife is coming home and I've get the house cleaned, the dishes done, and take a shower so she doesn't catch me in my slovenly stupor. And that's exactly the point.

Knowing that their are other people, whom you've given the relational right to hold you accountable, keeps you on track. You can come to church every time the door is open, but if you don't listen to them you're all alone. You cannot afford to do life that way friend. It's unnatural, it's unspiritual, it's detrimental to your walk with God, and it's a setup for a bigtime fall.

Don't fall into the trap that so many men are already in. It's called pride. It's called selfishness. It's called egotism. It's called boneheadness (I'm trying to speak to all my readers here!) It's called sin. Don't do life alone under a streetlight on a dark blustery avenue with dead leaves. That's a good scene for a horror movie but it's no way to live. Invite people that you know to give you feedback about yourself from time to time. Identify people whose opinion you respect and listen when they talk. Take the time to dialogue with people about your frustrations, fears, and victories. It's 6:57 I've got to grab some coffee...with a friend who shoots me straight. And I'll try to listen!